Continuation of story from July 22nd
“I want that to happen, I want that to happen, he wants to love me, I want to love him, I want to kill Danny so my son can be more popular.” Professor KlienStienSenBerg hurried down the hallway talking to himself. He found himself a nice shadowy corner in the family garage and sat in it; there he remained silently becoming submersed in joy at the thought of murdering Danny, and maybe the rest of the class–if he was a lucky ducky.
He had actually just wanted to kill for a long time. He like many people in the town had gone completely insane about one hundred and fifty years ago from having way too much caffeine and from having been half dead.
He emerged from the corner the following morning and saw that there was some garbage that needed to be taken out to the curb. He realized that it had been one week since Pepe’s last feeding and decided to prepare her a meal. Before, when people still ate, Professor K used to feed Pepe Leaves, raw meat, bones, compost and rodent flesh; but now all he brought out was a bunch of leaves floating in coffee.
When he got out to the end of the driveway he heard strange noises coming from beneath his feet. He decided to scale the grassy slope into the ditch and see what was happening with Pepe. He was struck with rage and jealousy when he saw that she was surrounded by all of the neighborhood dogs–breastfeeding them. “I don’t put all my hard earned dollars into buying you these leaves and coffee just so that you can waste all of the sustenance on these things. What will the neighbors think, your supposed to be my dirty little secret, I’m going to be the laughing stock of all the guys at work! No one will respect me anymore, you are some piece of work Pepe, what do you expect me to do now huh! How can I explain this one away!” The dogs had run off and Pepe stared up at Professor K blankly; five seconds passed–and then she farted a hole right through the back of her pants.
This wasn’t the first time Professor K had caught Pepe with some of the animals and or invertebrates from around the community having a time at the expense of his reputation. There were all sorts of things that crept through the ditch at night and god love her soul ol’ Pepe had a hard time saying no…From dogs to skunks to beetles to snakes they all drank from Pepe. Professor K knew this, you could even say it was the reason he kept going back to her all these years–he knew that if she wasn’t having her that someone else would.
“The bitch, the ignorant bitch!” Professor K. mutter shouted under his breath as he hurried back in the house. “I’ll fix her good, she’ll see whose boss and so on. When I get my hands on her I tell you I’ll cook her goose. What will my friends think about this?” He was the kind of guy who was controlling, manipulative and pushy, and he masked sadness with anger. Not in a really complicated way either, it was a very transparent trait to all his friends and co workers.
He went inside and stood in his en suite washroom and stared into his own eyes in the mirror. He started to ask deep and introspective questions to himself as you tend todo when you are in a mood. what was he really holding on to in life? What does it mean that his life has wound up where it’s wound up after four hundred years? Four hundred years is a terminal amount of time in regards to someone’s identity, it’s not like your going to mysteriously unlock new potentials at that point.
Professor K was a little sour about having to work the same job for the last two hundred years too. He blames it for contributing to his insanity. Also as time goes by and failures accumulate there comes a point where you continue to be bitter but forget where the bitterness all started; and when your in that state it is much easier to misplace your aggression–leading you to appear to other people to be much more insane than you actually are. Professor K was insane but if you were in his head you might see more of your side than you thought you would if you hadn’t seen the inside of his head.
Professor K. began to well up with tears; it caused an iridescent sparkle to emanate from the whites of his eyes when the water magnified the colonies of bacteria living along his eye balls. Four hundred years ago his eyes were like yours or mine, and then about two hundred years ago they started to become more vulnerable to certain bacteria and other microscopic things that grow on bigger things, those bacteria and things interbred; eventually each person’s tear became their most distinguishable characteristic, surpassing the fingerprint in the personal identification system–the eyes eventually evolving into very mutually exclusive communities of bacteria that could never be replicated or predicted, the fingerprints from sagging skin and slowly being worn down into smooth callused pads had lost all definition.
Professor K. stood beneath the skylight in the kitchen, neck cranked back, soaking in the moonlight with his withered and colorless face. He held a knife tenderly against his chest with both hands while his left index finger softly caressed the tip. “I Will Kill Danny He Will Die!!” he shouted without breaking his gaze.
J Stien smiled a little bit when he heard his father shout. He was also looking up at the moon, imagining what it was going to be like to be invited to his first party, kissing his first girl, and winning the big game for his intramural team. This was obviously a very unrealistic expectation on J’s behalf because even if he was the only other person in the world, no one would ever want to hang out with him; if he was the only male left in the world, no girl would want to kiss him; and he couldn‘t win at a game even if it was against the biggest loser on the face of the earth– himself.
A couple of moments ago…
“I Will Kill Danny He Will Die!!” Danny’s father Lanny leapt from his bed when he heard Professor K’s chilling proclamation. The two families, the KlienStienSenBerg’s and the Shuffler’s, lived next door to one another for some time now. This definitely increased the likelihood that Danny would be the target of his teacher’s rage; it also didn’t help that Lanny Shuffler’s bank book was substantially larger than that of Professor K, and so was his house.
Professor K resented the Shuffler’s because their modest affluence wasn’t afforded them by hard work but by some of the drainage from the Shuffler family fortune. Shuffler’s Muffler’s was the third largest producer of muffler’s in district 90771JY–47X-J for years and the whole family was getting a piece of the pie.
Due to Professor K’s insanity and the fact that so much time had passed since the Shuffler’s began receiving royalty checks from the family business–355 years to be exact–the professor had concocted an untrue history inside his head.
He was at the dinner party he was invited through one of his associate professors and he was charming the pants off of everyone in the room. There were doctor’s, lawyers, entrepreneurs and young professionals present. The president of Shuffler’s Mufflers, Shanny Shuffler, was at the party and was quite taken by KlienStienSenBerg. He was in the middle of offering Professor K the job of president of the company when they were rudely interrupted by the janitor–Lanny Shuffler–Lanny said that he was the long lost relative of Shanny and that he and his wife Franny, and his son’s Danny and Danny 2k were having a rough time financially. Shanny didn’t have much of a family life and cherished what relatives of his that remained; he gave Lanny his full attention, shutting Professor K. out completely.
Two weeks later–the Shuffler’s got a bigger house, and started acting different towards the KlienStienSenBerg’s. Not inviting them around as much and while at parties intentionally alienating Professor K and Professoressa K from the conversation. “I’ve always found teaching to be a bore, it’s not as flashy as my job, and it’s not the job for me. I think that we should all think and say teachers are boring…I don’t like them, let’s all laugh together!–except for Professor–Woo!!”
“Your so right Lanny teaching’s not flashy enough.”
“You need to flash if you want to smash!”
“What does that mean?”
“It doesn’t have to mean anything it’s flashy!”
“Hey let’s all be on the same side here, accept for Mr. K over there– the bore!”
Professor K. was hurt by incident’s like these and grew overtime to want not only to kill young Danny Shuffler, but to kill all of the kids around town to punish their parents for mocking him all those times. Again, none of this actually happened, it was all a product of Professor K’s insanity and poor memory.
to be continued…
